Friday 2 December 2011

The Blogging Returns

This is the G rated version of why I wasn't blogging...
Welcome back everyone!  I have actually rather missed sending my ridiculous thoughts out into the world to be read, enjoyed, and probably judged by others.  I am sorry for taking a hiatus from my blogging, however a series of fortunate and unfortunate events prevented me from writing.  So I will rewind and tell you all about where I have been and why I have not been keeping you all (hopefully) entertained.  Last Thursday was the first day that I did not blog, I did actually workout that day, however I did so very close to the time that I had to go to work so I didn't get a chance to write it beforehand and I went to bed shortly after getting home because I had to work the next morning.  Friday I worked during the day, and then Dan picked me up from work and we immediately hit the road to head to the mountains.  We were going up to this lodge with some of our friends in order to celebrate one couples engagement which as happening on their way to the lodge. The whole thing was a big secret and it all came together perfectly!  Dan and I woke up early Saturday morning and headed to Lake Louise to get some snowboarding in - our first runs of the season.  It was the busiest that we had ever seen the hill, especially that early in the morning.  We had not realised that there was actually a World Cup race going on that day which meant that a large part of the mountain was unavailable and the remainder of the mountain was completely overcrowded.  So after two runs we decided it just wasn't worth the headache and hassle of waiting in long lines in the cold.  Instead, we met up with our friends whom we warned against the chaos of the ski hill and decided we would go skating.  We were both pretty excited for this, neither one of us have skated in a very long time.  For myself, I am pretty sure the last time that I skated was on the canal, which means at least 6 years ago, and I do recall that even then that was the first time in a long time.  I remember that I had done up my skates (which I had bought specifically to go skating this one time) and I stood up to head out onto the canal from the tents they have setup to get everything ready, I promptly fell flat on my ass and a small child whose mum was doing up his skates proceeded to laugh at me.  I am pretty sure that despite being the personal slapstick comedy routine for a small child, I was actually able to skate.  So Dan and I were both very curious to see if we actually could still skate, and if we could, how well...  Unfortunately the hilarious stories of Dan and I trying to skate after probably a combined 15 years of not skating will have to be postponed given that the lake was not fully frozen.  On the way back to the lodge Dan and I stopped in the adorable little town of Field, BC to get some lunch at this grocer/restaurant that we had been to many times before but had recently changed owners.  I had a chicken panini sandwich that was alright, not the best, not the worst... unlike the glass of wine that we had which was definitively the worst.  Anyone who knows Dan and I, know that its a rare occasion when we leave nearly full drinks sitting on our table, but we did it that day.  I would attribute it to the fact that the wine came out of a box, except that I have had bearable wine out of a box before, this was unbearable.  Later that evening we returned to Field to meet the other couple that was coming to join us all, and we had dinner at the Truffle Pigs, a restaurant Dan and I have a lot of fond memories at (like me forgetting that I had switched from beer to wine and picking up the wine bottle taking a pound directly from the bottle as other guests of the lodge that we had been talking to looked on).  Dinner was awesome, and then we went back to the lodge and continued to celebrate.  Finally we went to bed, and then I awoke at 3am in absolutely pain.  I felt like I had to throw-up, and not the kind of throwing up that some people do when they have had too much to drink, this was a whole other kind of throwing up.  However, I couldn't throw up.  I finally did about an hour and a half later, and I will spare you all the gruesome details but I had food poisoning.  It was the chicken panini

Day 24 (Last Thursday)
45 minutes
45-55rpm
14km
+
50 sit-ups

Day 25 (Today)
45 minutes
40-48rpm
12.2km
+
50 sit-ups

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Silly men, treadmills go fast

This would be amazing...
Ugh, post-regular work hour work outs are the dumps.  While the television may be better (as previously mentioned) the company increasingly becomes undesirable. I worked during the day today, so I didn't have a chance to work out until about quarter to six this evening.  When I went down to the work out room there was already an older man (on the bike, obviously... dudes love that thing) watching the Flames hockey game.  Despite the fact that I am not a Flames fan, I do enjoy the hockey and I was down with watching the hockey.  Politely, he did offer me the remote when he was leaving - most likely because he mistakenly thought I would have no interest in watching hockey , much like the other day when I was leaving and I passed the remote because I mistakenly thought that the guy that had just come in would not like to watch Dawson's Creek... nope, he kept watching it...  Here's what I love about men: they can be downright stupid sometimes.  So when I was about ten minutes into my workout, this other guy comes into the gym, probably late thirties and he had an accent I couldn't quite distinguish but he was quite friendly when he came in, despite wearing headphones.  I was rocking it on my best friend the elliptical and this guy came in and went for the treadmill.  I have to say straight up, this was one of the most amazing spectacles of male ridiculousness I have ever seen.  Right away, this guy cranks the treadmill up to about 8mph without any warm up, except the thirty seconds he spent hi-kicking behind me... yup, it was awkward.  Anyway, he cranks the treadmill up while standing with his feet planted on either side and when he finally jumped on, I couldn't help but look - he almost flew right off the back.  You know when you see people do that in movies, and you think "Oh my god, this slapstick humour is so Jim Carey, and thus so over", that's exactly what this looked like, except somehow he managed to recover, at which point he looked over to me and tried to explain that the treadmill is unsafe and that it sporadically pauses...  Awesome, you are so manly you can run super fast without warming up and almost fall off the treadmill but no worries, it's a technical error not the fact that you have no idea how to use a treadmill.  I don't mean to suggest that I am some awesome person that all guys try to hit on (even though I am awesome) but I did get the impression that this was what this guy was up to.  He then decided, despite still wearing his headphones, to chat me up about the game.  It started out with the basic stuff like the score, and who actually scored the points thus far... and then he asked me which team was my favourite.  Given the options of Calgary and Detroit, I said neither.  When he asked me who I did like, I took the opportunity to tell him that I like Vancouver which invariably brings about the question of whether or not I am from there.  "No," I answered "but my husband is".  Sure, I lied and said that Dan was my husband - but I enjoy this lie, I feel that it puts men in their place a lot sooner.  It seems that the title of boyfriend means there is still room to maneuver and the title of fiance means that there is still a last chance.  While this may sound silly, as a long term member of the service industry I can assure you that the ring on my finger does not do much to deter attempts, rather it seems like an invitation to be as ridiculous as possible about it because odds are they're going to get turned down anyway.  I feel like the old husband brush off only pushed this guy to try to impress, or perhaps maintain his manhood.  I could tell he was determined to stay at his workout longer than I had, when I was about a half hour in I kept feeling him looking over me, as if he was looking to see how near I was to finishing... While my goodness did this guy ever suffer, he was huffing and puffing on this treadmill that was going far too fast for this guy.  He stopped twice to catch his breath, and when I finally finished my workout on the elliptical I could see the relief in his stature.  Although, he didn't realise that I was going to do my sit-ups.  Finally, I saw this guy's macho persona collapse and he had to rapidly drop his speed down.  I found the entire incident very amusing, I mean this guy just about killed himself hopping onto a treadmill going far too fast than he was prepared to run just to show his manliness.  This is why I love men, they try so very hard, it can be silly or it can be really amazing, but they're always trying.

Day 23:
40:16
55-65rpm
14km
+
50 sit-ups

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Random Memories and Book Poops

Apparently it's a more common phenomenon than I ever thought
Do you ever remember something really obscure and completely unimportant and find yourself why in the world would my brain decide that that was something important to hold on to?  Sometimes (most of the time) I can't remember where my keys are, guys forget their anniversaries, parents forget their children's birthdays and yet people remember the strangest things that have absolutely no relevance to anything at all.  Today on my way home from some errands, I stopped at a bookstore that recently caught my eye.  They have a sign out front that says "Old and Rare Books", given the massive literary nerd that I am, this is right up my alley.  Normally, I forget about it and notice it too late to park so I just keep going, or other times I think of it when I am running short on time.  So, I was quite happy when I remembered that bookstore on my way home with plenty of time to spare.  This book store was like a porn shop for English and history nerds alike; wall to wall books, books with those thick pages that instantly tell you that the book is at least a hundred years old.  Textured pages, I don't know what it is, but I just love those old books with their thick, textured pages.  Clearly, I will never be one for the ereader...  I just love to hold a book, I like to look at them stacked on my shelves, and I especially love the smell of books - this bookstore was all kinds of book smell.  As I roamed around in my literary haven, I had the most random useless memory pop into my head.  It was from when I was in high school, and I was at my best friend Susan's house.  We were in the old computer room (not the music room turned computer room - this info is just for people who know Susan's house) and her older brother, my older brother, and there other friend Dave were on the computers and Susan and I were in there trying (and failing) to coerce them to let us on the computers...  Somehow, a discussion about the library started to happen, I of course said how I love the library, and Dave said how being in the library makes him have to poop.  Susan, then seconded this, she also has to poop when she goes into the library, or at least she did back then.  This is the kind of crap I remember??  Well, I guess it is because there I was in this awesome bookstore filled with amazing old books and I remember a conversation about how the smell of books makes people I know have to poop, and to top it all off, I finally experience this book effect myself and I had to leave the bookstore to poop.  Did you ever think you were going to read about me having to poop?  I apologize for that, but I just found it a very odd thing to remember...  Maybe you laughed, that would be good, I hope you all laughed instead of just finding this incredibly weird. 
I'm sorry.

Day 22:
41 minutes
45-62rpm
13.7km
+
50 sit-ups

Monday 21 November 2011

The Upside of Mondays and Road Rage

We really are animals...
Happy Monday bloggies (yes, I have nicknamed the collective group of people who read my blog).  Yes, I know Mondays suck for everyone, but they are actually my version of Sunday usually, so I quite enjoy Mondays.  Working a job that is not 9-5 can seem inconvenient sometimes when it comes to making plans with all you normal people, however, for everything else - it's actually kind of great.  This is because while all you normal people are working, I have the ability to do things without having to deal with crowds of people.  For example, the grocery store - living downtown means that the stores that I go to are even busier than most since you have a lot of people living in a tight area with only a couple of grocery store options available.  Despite the immense amount of patience that I have acquired over the years, every once in a while even I can pull a Dan and dump my groceries while waiting in line and just get the hell out of there.  You have to admit, waiting in line to give people your money is a pretty outrageous concept.  Unless there is some massive sale that ends that day, I will walk away from any purchase that I am trying to make if I have to stay in line for too long.  Once, I actually bought a bottle of vodka for a guy in front of me in line at the liquor store because there was some issue with his card and he was going to run home and get his credit card and the clerk didn't know how to suspend the transaction.... yada, yada, yada.  I literally became so annoyed and impatient I just paid for it.  However, thanks to my unusual work schedule these are problems that I rarely have to face.  Traffic too is a big one, seriously, no one in this city knows how to drive.  Getting my errands done during the day on a Thursday means I can drive down roads without having to yell and scream at other people for being complete and utter idiots... I don't always have road rage, but when I do, it's not pretty.  I often pick Dan up from work downtown, despite the fact that it's about a 5 minute drive, this is often the most trying drive that I ever do.  There's this one turn in particular where I just about lose my mind everyday (for those of you familiar with Calgary it's where you turn onto 9 Ave from 3 St), here you have 4 lanes on a one way turning on to 5 lanes (one of which is for street parking).  I always go into the far outside lane, this lane turns into the 4th lane of 9 Ave - yet, without failure, every single time I do this some idiot from the 3rd lane thinks that he can turn into the 4th lane because apparently logic completely fails this individual. Ah, I actually just got mad trying to explain it.  Anyway, the point of all this was that I usually don't have to deal with these kinds of problems since I work weird hours which generally means that the only people I can ever hang out with are other people who also work hours or when things are planned far enough in advance that I can take time off.  Today, however, I literally got none of the things done that I wanted to get done with the exception of my workout and writing this blog.  Instead, I am going to deal with all the ridiculous lines at the grocery store like everyone else after I go and pick Dan up on the most infuriating 5 minute drive of my life - kind of makes me feel like an idiot for somehow wasting my entire day, especially since I have no idea what I actually did.

Day 21:
43 minutes
45-60 rpm
13.6km
+50 sit-ups

Friday 18 November 2011

The Twilight Zone

Ah... the good old days when E=MC2 answered everything.
Good morning!  That's right, morning.  I am not a morning person, I never have been and I am sure that I never will be.  However, for some strange reason this morning I woke up at 6:45 and could not get back to sleep.  So instead of just lying there for two hours waiting for my alarm to go off to get up for work, I decided that I would make use of this time and do my workout in the morning.  I actually was not planning on working out at all today, I thought I would give myself a little break but what else are you going to do when you can't sleep and such an ungodly hour?  I have always been much more of a night person, usually the only time that I see the morning is when I have yet to see my bed.  Even before the days of going out and partying, this is what I predisposed to.  I am sure my dad has images of waking up for work to find me in the computer room still playing video games or chatting on line, or even on the phone.  While I rarely stay up quite late these days, I still probably average a 2am to 3am bedtime.  It doesn't seem as odd when you consider the fact that I typically work in the evening, but also I just like the night time better.  If you're out somewhere there is next to no one out and about, sure you can't get in anywhere, but everything just seems much more peaceful late at night.  I also like the darkness - I know what you're thinking, "What!?  You, crazy pale, bordering translucent... You prefer darkness over sunlight???"  Don't get me wrong, I am not one of these weirdo vampire wannabes - I do enjoy the sun, but it can get to be a bit much for me.  This is probably why I never go South, and when I do (like the time we had a family trip to North Carolina) I squirm around, complain, and whine about the brightness and the heat.  Seriously, I have memories of being in the car and over-dramatically thinking I was going to suffocate.  So given my distaste for the morning, you can imagine how ususual it is to finally wake up and experience one only to end up watching the traffic report filled with backed up cars on the highways with their lights on because.... drumroll, it's dark!  Sure, sure I knew that this happened, but it's still strange to wake up to darkness.  Dan has a tendency to complain about this, although not so much recently, but I totally understand it - if I had to wake up at 6am to go to work for 7am, I would want to walk to work in the sunlight, not the dreary darkness that indicates that you should still be in bed, asleep, where it's warm.  Having said all that, it feels kind of good looking at the clock and seeing that it's 9am and instead of just waking up I have already had breakfast, gotten in a workout, sat in the hot tub, and now I have completed my daily blog. 

Day 20:
40 minutes
45-55rpm
12.3km
+
50 sit ups

Thursday 17 November 2011

Welcome to my Brain

I wish I could edit this cartoon... change know to known
I had to hit up the gym a bit early today because I had an appointment to get a rock chip in my windshield repaired (I have fallen victim to those threatening commercials where the whole windshield breaks while scraping of snow).  The downfall to this was that there was someone working out when I went down, and of all the things in the world to watch, he was watching business channel.  Nothing like watching a ticker on the bottom of the screen showing how just about everything is down while people sit there and just talk about companies...  Do people actually find this interesting, or is this one of those things that people pretend to be interested in just to look smart or sophisticated??  Can you imagine filling out a form of some sort and actually writing down financials as an interest?  I don't know what kind of form you would fill out where you would have to werite your interests - maybe an eharmony application...  In which case, if you are writing financials on your eharmony application, you are probably a lost cause or gold-digger bait.  I started out just doing my own thing and ignoring the television, however I couldn't stop myself from listenning when the VP of communications for the oilsands came on for an interview and tried to explain how the oilsands are awesome...  I'm not a huge environmental activist, there's nothing that I actively participate in to justify me saying so; however, I still have beliefs about the subject manner.   Quite frankly, one of the hardest things about living in Alberta has been listenning to all the pro-oil industry bullshit that continually is being shoved down your throat.  It's bad enough that a lot of people here actually think that the oil sands are beneficial - yes, they are economically, but sometimes I feel like the entire province is acting like a five year old plugging its ears and going "lalalalalalala".   So, as my anger slowly boiled up inside me while listenning to this woman talk about how greatthe oil sands are, I decided to take that same five year old approach myself - I threw on my headphones and cranked up my music.  Peace.  I was working out, once again, on my new found friend the elliptical.  I say my new found friend because this piece of mahcinery has actually made its way into my dreams - how sad is that?  I had a dream last night that Dan and I were moving into a house of our own ( I knew it was a dream because the size of the house clearly indicated that it was completely out of our price range).  The down side to moving into the new house was that I was no longer going to have the gym, but in a twist of good fate the gym in my building was closing (I guess I was the only one using it in dream land).  So, all the exercise equipment was being auctionned off, but since no one in the building was interested in using the gym, no one wanted to by the equipment so my bid of $1 on my beloved elliptical won.  Ah, everything was falling so perfectly into place.  On moving day, I went down to the gym to get my elliptical, but it was gone!  DUN, DUN, DUNNNNN.  It turned out someone had made an offer after the auction and I was stabbed in the back; my elliptical was sold out from underneath me.  Torn away from each other too soon...  the saddest story that eve co-starred a piece of exercise equipment.  Have I not mentionned that I have seriously messed up dreams??  Well, now you know.

Day 19:
40 minutes
45-55rpm
12.5km
+
50 sit-ups

Wednesday 16 November 2011

When I grow up....

Alright, so I think I have found the ideal time to workout - at noon everyday the comedy network plays two back to back episiodes of Seinfeld!  You can't argue with watching an hour of Seinfeld while working out.  I think I have seen ever single episodes and the majority of them I have seen numerous times.  Personally, my favourite character was Elaine... not just because she was the only main female character, but I wanted her life.  I wanted to have 3 hilarious guy best friends that I hung out with all the time, I wanted to work for a publishing company in some big city, and attract the eye of professional athletes, politicians, and the head of NBC... well, maybe not actually that last part, but the first two for sure.  It's funny though, when I think back to watching it originally, I thought that they were much younger than they ever are in the show.  Perhaps it was just one of those things that when you're a kid you make ridiculously strange assumptions about people's ages - like how a friend of mine's daughter thought that I was a kid and Dan was my father because I play with her whenever we see her while Dan and her dad talk: super cute.  Well, I put this off pretty late so I am going to cut the blogging short today - I will be back tomorrow to regal with you with moderately interesting stories...

Day 18:
40 minutes
45-55rpm
12.6km
+
50 sit-ups

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Born to Write

Inside joke/reference for my parents...
Today is a day to rejoice my blog readers; today I got my computer back!  Very exciting news, at least for me, I took it to get it fixed because the power cord would no longer connect and I have been forced to use Dan’s Mac.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my iphone and my ipod and I am sure I would like the ipad as well, however, when it comes to computers “I’m a PC”.  I, like a lot of people of my generation, grew up using PCs with the exception of those beige skinny Macs they had at school that we played Yukon Trail on...  damn, that was a great game.  Yukon Trail aside, here’s the reason why I don’t like Mac’s: where the hell is everything on them??  So if there’s something wrong with a program or something on my computer than I know exactly how to go in behind the scenes and look at all the files and whatnot.  On a Mac, I can’t seem to find anything.  I installed Microsoft Word on Dan’s computer and when I go to open files it gives me an option of programs to open it – Microsoft Word isn’t on it, apparently it’s not considered an application... I don’t get it, I just find it frustrating how there does not appear to just be a “My Computer” location on a Mac where you can just go in and do whatever you want – I could go in and delete some completely essential file if I wanted to.  I don’t know why I would want to, but I like knowing that I can do it.  Maybe I just don’t have a clue how to use a Mac, that’s a distinct possibility...  And I do love how their laptops seem to run forever, and they are about a third of the weight.  Damn, Mac’s are good, but I love my overweight, short-battery life PC, I really do.  That random little rant reminded me of when I was a kid and I desperately wanted a laptop.  I had beautiful images in my mind of taking my laptop and sitting on top of this hill in the park and writing stories and poems to my heart’s content while being surrounded by trees and a playground...  So I asked for a laptop constantly: birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Labour Day, any occasion at all, I wanted a laptop!  So my parents decided to get creative with this one, one Christmas there sat a present for me and I had the feeling this was my laptop...  I was ecstatic, I don’t think I had ever held one or seen one in person before, and here I was about to have one of my very own.  I tried to pick it up, I was amazed at how heavy it was, so I sat down right there, ripped off (or maybe I meticulously removed the paper without ripping anything at all.... I liked to do that, it stretched the presents out longer) the paper, to expose this hard metal suitcase – weird, I didn’t know that laptops came inside metal suitcases.  So I opened up the case; shocked, this was no laptop.... I stared it, selfishly disappointed – it was a typewriter, a very, very heavy typewriter.  At the time, as a self-centered child, I didn’t realize that my parents couldn’t afford to buy me a laptop and it was because they loved me so much that they got creative and found something similar instead of just ignoring my constant requests.  I know that now, if you’re reading this, thanks.  Ironically, I bought myself a typewriter just a few months ago...  Anyhow, I had this massive, heavy typewriter and this idyllic dream of sitting on a hill in the park down the road from my house.  So, one day I climbed onto my bike while holding the massive, heavy typewriter in its metal suitcase in one hand and had a lope-sided bike ride down to the park and I dragged that typewriter up the hill and I sat there and wrote some poorly conceived poem about nature because I had no real life experiences to write about yet.  I may have been heart-broken when I opened that typewriter on Christmas, but now I love that story because I think it illustrates the fact that I am a writer and I always have been even if I don’t always have something to write about.
Oh ya, I worked out today.


Day 17:
40 minutes
45-55 rpm
12km

+
50 sit-ups

Monday 14 November 2011

Before and After

Seriously, are you supposed to think these are the same people?
Also, why did the fish also get smaller?
Lesson: Fat men catch bigger fish.
Good afternoon blog readers!  I am happy to be back closer to my normal time, despite the diminished selection of television to watch during my workout.  I basically had the room to myself, just towards the end of my workout a guy came down to use the bike.  I've noticed that almost every guy that comes down there uses the bike, literally the only time I have seen a guy do a workout on anything else was when the bike was being used by another guy...  I think it might be the appeal of sitting down; they all just park themselves on the bike and watch t.v. and I think they may not even notice that their legs are moving.  As for myself, I think I have been fully converted to the elliptical - although I am constantly baffled by the damn thing.  The readings that I get off of it seem totally inconsistent.  For example, on Saturday I used it for 35 minutes at 45-60 rpm, and went 17.9km on mountain course.  Then yesterday, I used it for 40 minutes at 45-60 rpm, and went 11.6 km on rolling course. Since the work level was 4 on both days, I figured that it must be because of the courses; so today I ran for 40 minutes, at 45-60 rpm, on mountain course and yet went 13km.  While, consistency of speed at the upper or lower end could account for smaller differences  (like that of today vs. yesterday), I don't understand the massive gap between Saturday and the other days.  The only thing that I can possibly think of is that someone had used it before me Saturday and paused it instead of stopping it and I just didn't notice...  Very baffling.  I have begun to notice an improvement in my abdomen strength; while I can't yet see anything physically, I am starting to feel the change.  I snap right up when I start my sit-ups (at least for the first 25 or so!), it definitively feels stronger than before.  It actually made me pretty excited when I realized that it felt easier than it did initially - it can become a bit trying to not notice much change despite working your ass off.  I am hopeful that there will be much more to come, however you will just have to take my word for any changes that I may inform you of - there will be no cheesy infomercial-style before and afters of what appears to be two different people who barely look alike.

Day 16:
elliptical
40 minutes
45-60 rpm
13km
+
50 sit-ups

Sunday 13 November 2011

How to Change the Colour of my Face

This is what I mean by Tomato Red Face!
Well, I just got back upstairs from my workout this evening.  I have discovered the benefit of working out at night versus during the day: better things to watch on t.v.  There was no The Thing, or incredibly boring CBC made for t.v. movies.  I am, however, still a girl and I watched He's Just Not That Into You - this may not seem like something better on t.v. for my male readers, but for me personally, it was quite enjoyable.  I am almost considering bringing a DVD player down there so I can watch other cheesy (and therefore awesome) movies like The Notebook or Romeo and Juliet - all male tenants in the building who workout would be ruing the day that I decided to be healthy!
I realized the other day that I haven't actually explained why my blog is named Tomato Red Face; maybe most of you have figured it out, but just in case you haven't it's because that is what my face looks like after I workout.  I also discovered last night that, that is how my face looks after I eat pretty much a whole habanero pepper.  Last night at work, I naively and foolishly believed one of my co-workers when he told me to try a pepper that wasn't that hot.  Normally, I doubt everything that the kitchen guys try to give me, it's a skill that I developed from growing up with brothers who always found a great deal of humour in making me suffer varying degrees of pain and embarrassment.  For some reason that ingrained mistrust was not present last night, and I ate a good three quarters of this little habanero.  It didn't seem so bad at first but within probably 25 seconds, I was doubled over exhaling what I can only assume were flames.  One guy suggested putting salt in my mouth - that didn't do the trick.  I swished olive oil around in my mouth, I drank a beer, I drank water, I ate ice cream... It was intense, and my face went tomato red as tears streamed down my face; both from pain and immense laughter.  I thought it only seemed fitting that I should repeat that story here on my Tomato Red Face blog.  I hope you got a giggle, though I doubt you cried laughing as I did. 
It wasn't this bad... thank goodness: Girl Eats a Ghost Pepper

Day 15:
elliptical
40 minutes
45-60 rpm
11.6km
+
50 sit-ups

Saturday 12 November 2011

The Thing vs. Beast

Does this look intelligent to you?
Or does this?
Alright, back on track today!  I feel like I have been a bit of a slacker this week, and not making as much of an effort to get my workouts in that I had been doing in the first week.  Driven by that internalized guilt, I strove to go longer and harder today than I have done this far.  I have become a big fan of the elliptical over the course of my workouts.  I like how it doesn't feel like my entire body weight is slamming down on my ankles towards the end.  I started my workout just a minute and half after another guy had started on the bike - which of course brought out that competitive side that I have been telling you about.  I was determined not to stop until after him, and so after half an hour he finally stopped and I had to go for another five minutes because I needed to know in my head that I went longer than him and not for the same amount of time - I'm weird like that I suppose, he will never know that he did 30 minutes and I did 35, but I needed to know that.  Sometimes I feel sorry for Dan for having to deal with all my crazies!  The guy who was working out next to me had turned on the old movie The Thing.  I have never seen it before, I have heard of it but that was about it.  I must say that I was pretty baffled by the movie; granted, I started watching in the middle of it with no idea of what was going on, but still, there was on thing that just didn't make sense.  This doctor character (who looked like he probably also played the role of an evil doctor in some James Bond movies) kept insisting that they shouldn't kill the Thing because it was more intelligent than humans and they needed to learn from it - where in the hell did this guy get the idea that the Thing was intelligent?  From what I saw they found the Thing frozen in ice (would a smart person end up frozen in ice?  Nope, they'd be somewhere warm probably), it thawed out and ran off and killed some dogs and drank their blood (Nothing about that seems to indicate intelligence to me).  Then, the Thing goes to some greenhouse, no idea what that was all about it, I couldn't really hear it that well. Then they had some device that gave readings that informed them of how close the Thing was, if it was so intelligent wouldn't it know a way to not be detected?  And then they set the thing on fire, it makes loud groaning noises while flailing around at everyone and then runs out into the arctic on fire... it doesn't even stop, drop, and roll.  So where does this doctor get the idea that the Thing is intelligent??  I didn't finish the movie, maybe he sits down with the doctor at the end and reveals all the secrets of mankind like the doctor seems to think he will...  maybe they talk politics and philosophy while playing chess, but I doubt it, the Thing is not Beast from X-Men.  If anyone has seen the movie and knows something that I missed that explains this, please let me know, I am curious (yet not curious enough to watch the whole movie...) 

Day 14:
35 minutes
45-60rpm (I decided to see how fast I could go, got up to 90 and felt like I might fly off..)
17.9km
+
50 sit-ups

Friday 11 November 2011

Kryptonite and art...

Do you orgasm when you hold pythons...? haha.
Good evening dedicated blog readers!  I come to you once again with my head hung low in disappointment because I did not workout at all today.  After my very long day yesterday, I slept in today until 12:30.  After I woke up, Dan and I decided to go antiquing.  Basically, I equate antiquing with going to a free museum where you can touch everything and you can also by the things that you are looking at.  I love the idea of buying old things, trust me I didn't always - despite having no sisters, I still managed to receive a wide assortment of hand my downs from my mum's best friend's daughters - back then I definitely did not enjoy old things.  No though, I have gained an appreciation for it; you pick something up, something that seems incredibly insignificant and yet at some point in time any number of very important or unimportant people could have held that thing before you.  There is a history and a mystery behind everything, it's genuinely a very interesting experience.  For myself, books are my kryptonite.  I love the feel and smell of old books, I love the fact that they have passed through so many hands before they have gotten to me, I love that other people have read those exact letters printed on the page and brought them to life in their own minds - perfectly imagining the characters and settings in their own distinct way.  After Dan and I antiquing like we're already a 50 year old couple trying to reclaim their youth through material possessions, we returned home and had dinner before going to the Matt Good concert tonight.  The concert was one of those events that I didn't really forget about but simply chose not to think about as something that would take up actual time - turns out, concerts do take up time.  However, I am very glad that I allowed this concert to take up my time!  After the long3 hour drive to and from Alberta's antiquing capital of Nanton, Dan and I both felt very tuckered out and found ourselves envious of the idea of confining ourselves to the couch.  In the end though, I think we were both very happy about our decision to just man-up (as if it were a difficult task) and go to the show.  For me, I think that there are two different kinds of shows that you can go to... you can go to see an artist or you can go to see a performer.  Britney Spears, Beyonce, and such are performers - it's about the spectacle, the glitter, the showmanship... not to sound like a pompous asshole, but I found that it's less about art.  And then there are artists, Matt Good showed me tonight that he is an artist.  The concert opened in blackness, and then two lamps (yes, lamps picture high-end ornate 1930s lamps) came on, on either side of the stage.  The keyboardist came on to the stage, you could see him, his face... and then Matt Good came on; shrouded in the shadows, he crossed the stage identified by the fans despite the darkness.  He sang, beautifully, wonderfully, identically to the sound that emits from his albums, the song "We Were Hunting Rabbits", one of my personal favourites. I felt the song, as cheesy as the sounds, I could feel the vibrations resonating through the auditorium and no, I was not on any form of drugs - but that's the joy of smaller venues, you get to experience a connection to the music and the artist.  The next song commenced with a blast of light to our faces; so completely overwhelming that you couldn't look directly at the stage, and when you did, you were so blinded that you couldn't see the faces of the people on stage - I realized it was a commentary, normally we're all looking up at them, the artists, judging them, yet they can't even see us - we're hidden in the comfort of darkness and the crowd.  Now we were illuminated, blinded by bright lights, unable to see the people before us who may or may not be judging us.  I really felt like this concert was a piece of performance art, not just a singer performing or a performance, but an artist demonstrating a point to the audience - just because he has a talent that puts him on stage before him, doesn't give us the right to judge him.
I'm sorry that my blog has not run a more consistent course, despite having an initial theme behind it; this blog has clearly become a sounding box for me.  I can now understand why blogs became so popular in the first place - I can say whatever I want to say, you don't have to like it, you don't have to read it, but it's here.  However, I do hope you read it, and I do hope you enjoy it.  I'll work out tomorrow, I promise.

Welcome to Limbo

Stay tuned to the end of this blog to
find out what this picture is about...
This is the time in the evening/morning that I like to refer to as limbo because, while it is technically morning, the majority of the people who are up right now(3:30am) are those that are concluded their evening rather than starting their morning.  I am terribly sorry to report that I did not workout today; however, I do feel that I have a very valid reason for that.  That reason would be work, where I was from basically 10am to 3am today.  To clarify, I'm actually not complaining, just justifying!  Therefore, my blog today will not be about working out and the various weirdos that I see and strange thoughts that I have while doing so; rather, it will be more of me ranting and raving like the kind of lunatic that you would expect to write a blog in the wee hours of the morning after working a gazillion hour work day.  I will start with my adventurous walk home from work - given that tomorrow is Rememberance day and a holiday for all you messed up people with regular jobs; this Thursday was transformed into a Friday and therefore a long weekend Friday (the worst kind of Friday).  It's like everyone and their mother gets let out of the loony bin on a full moon.  Walking down a busy street (8th ave or 17th... that's about it) in Calgary on one of these weirdo-enticing evenings can only be equated to people going to the freak show at the circus for the first time in the late 1800s when they actually thought that the bearded lady was a woman with a beard and not just a dude in drag.  I've seen a guy knock over a mailbox (in a fit of what can only be assume to be 'roid rage) while yelling at his girlfriend, a super drunk guy step over to Asian guys in a full blown fight on the sidewalk, and then that same guy try and trick me into thinking he was in a cab by walking around a corner with nothing blocking him from my sight (this was all in one night, and 'anonymous guy' you know who you are, and it was hilarious... ps. it was not Dan).  I have found young women passed out on the sidewalk with their purse above their head while cops check to see if she's alive, you see all kinds of shit on these kinds of nights - don't get me started on what you see during Stampede (okay, girls poo... straight up, they poo on the side of the road, the side of the sidewalk, the side of the street.... wherever... it's sick.. there are pictures).  So you think that after seeing all these kinds I would avoid everything and anyone that even came close to crossing my path.  However, on my way home this evening, I had a guy ask me for directions to an address that he was incapable of finding... he said he was from out of town, couldn't find his friend.... and as I listened to him I couldn't help but think, this is how people die or get seriously hurt in movies - this is it, the stereotypical story line, naive girl trusts weirdo in the streets, despite having some apprehensions (the thought that this is how people die in movies) she talks to and attempts to help the stranger instead of pretending she's a Swedish model with a twin (what guy would want to kill one of those?  Plus, they generally don't speak English so they could avoid the whole incident).  I felt kind of bad that I couldn't help the guy find the address that he was looking for, and also that I assumed that because he was a man in the street at 3am that he was going to try to kill me.  Don't you hate when you think someone's going to kill you and they are actually just a nice, lost person???  Anyway, I swear I was going to talk about something else... there were more stories, I am sure of it.  However, I am now totally exhausted physically, and now mentally.  Tomorrow I will work out and then I will tell you about it, or I might remember the stories that I was going to tell you today... Anything could happen.  Do you feel the suspense???  Is it as intense as a Gordon Ramsay show??? God that guy loves suspense, and having his shirt off at some point in his shows <cue gratuitous Ramsay shirtless shot>

That's more realistic... whoever photo-shopped that photo above is my hero...

Wednesday 9 November 2011

Fat Abs and Exercise Weirdos

What's the point of having abs with belly like that??
Hello blog readers!  Coming at you late in the evening once again.  I forgot that I was covering day shifts today and tomorrow, so working split shifts doesn't leave much time for exercising and blogging.  Instead, I only managed to get some exercising in today between shifts, so all my determined talk yesterday about hopefully being able to really push myself today was unfortunately derailed by time constraints.  Although, I don't think that it's a complete loss since work means being on my feet and walking around for what came to 10 hours today; that, combined with the bit of a workout that I did get in, makes me feel a bit better about not having the time to do more today.  I do need to get back to my previous workout time in the morning though because frankly, I have realized that around 3:00p.m. is when all the weidos workout.  Both yesterday and today this little man came down while I was working out and he just moves strangely about the fitness room.  First he sat on the bike for about 2 minutes, then he went onto the elliptical, and at this point I thought maybe he was waiting to use the treadmill.  I just kind of watch him in the mirror as he moved from one piece of equipment to another... by the time that he left the treadmill was the only thing that he hadn't used in the whole gym and he spent no more than two minutes on any given piece of equipment.  That was yesterday.  Today, he came down once again at the same time and rapidly moved himself around the room climbing on to each and everything in there but never staying on one thing even close to long enough to actually receive heath benefits from having done so.  All in all, I find this man very strange; it's like he works up the motivation to get himself down there and once he does he becomes instantly bored with everything and once he has tried it all he just leaves...  Yes, I certainly preferred my morning workout time when I managed to avoid seeing anyone at all.  As for the workouts themselves, I am feeling good physically about things, but at the same time I don't feel that I have seen any physical results.  I know, obviously, that it does take a while to start seeing the results of all this but today I actually thought that my stomach had gotten bigger - I think Dan disagrees, but he's nice and loves me and therefore is totally biased and completely unreliable.  If my doing sit-ups is going to result in me having one of those beer belly six packs (where your stomach still sticks out but is defined) I will throw up on myself right now.  Okay, I did not throw up on myself, but I am still hoping that that is not the case.  I am sure that won't happen, that seems to be more of a guy thing...

Day 13:
17 minutes
1.47 miles
5.5mph
+
elliptical
5 minutes
1.6km
50-55 rpm
+
50 sit-ups

Tuesday 8 November 2011

Did you miss me?!

I was as tired as this child...
You can all relax now!  Here I am!  I must apologize for my hiatus, I didn't mean to leave you all hanging, holding your breath in anticipation of what I would have to say next.  Well, here I am now and I don't have an awful lot to say; the fact of the matter is simply that I was feeling a bit burnt out, tired, and as a result I felt like I was on the verge of becoming sick.  So, in order to prevent actually getting sick, I decided to give myself a break.  I took both Sunday and Monday off of my workout routine, and today I eased myself back into it with a shorter run with some walking mixed in amongst it.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling stronger and I can get back into things at full speed.  Also, hopefully I'll have something more interesting to say.

Day 12:
20 minutes
1.7 miles
+
50 sit-ups

Sunday 6 November 2011

Remember that time that you weren't good at something??

Those are probably half gram weights...
If there is anyone out there who actually reads my blog daily I apologize for how late today's/yesterday's blog is coming to you.  As you may recall from my previous blog, in the wee hours of the morning I was playing soccer for a local cancer fundraiser.  In doing so, there was little left of the rest of my day since I slept until 2:00 in the afternoon and then went to work for 4:00.  I did, however, manage to maintain some semblance of my exercise routine - while I did play 2 hours of what was surprisingly intense soccer for 3 in the morning, I wanted to make sure I still made my daily visit to the gym.  I opted to take it easy today in lieu of lack of sleep, the soccer, and overall lack of time.  Now that I have provided you with a really boring itinerary and my reasons/excuses for going easy on myself today maybe I should tell you something interesting (I know what you're thinking, oh my god, really... after 9 days of religiously reading her blog she is finally going to have something genuinely interesting to say!! well probably not, but I do have tales to tell that I have most likely exaggerated).  Last night I worked a long, somewhat strenuous but overall good shift at work that had me going for a good 10 hours until 2:00 in the morning.  Usually I actually get out a bit earlier than this over the weekend, but I was actually kind of happy that work kept me tied up for so long - that way I didn't realize just how tired I actually was.  Instead, I was actually feeling pretty good and awake while I sat in my car for 5 minutes letting it warm up since this was the first night that the car had the pleasure of being subjected to frost and I thought I had better ease it in (I like to treat our car as if it is a person, I have been known to refer to it as my little blue guy - it seems that while guys assume cars are female, I assume cars are male).  I drank a sugar-free Red Bull while I made my way to the indoor soccer arena; a good 25 minutes away in an area that I literally had no idea existed despite the fact that I have lived in Calgary for 5 years now.  It was pretty quiet when I arrived at 2:30 which was what I had expected, not a lot of extra people hanging around in the middle of the night to cheer people on.  What was unexpected was the number of people that were a bit on the tipsy side to say the least; anyone who knows me from a hole in the wall can attest to the fact that I am not a prude when it comes to drinking, however, I was genuinely baffled on how the hell people were getting home from this place - we were in the middle of nowhere!  But I guess people were somehow managing, and if they weren't getting home, I guess they were probably just playing soccer all night - perhaps that's the appeal of an overnight charity marathon...  I was informed when I got there that the people that were playing were of varying skill levels and, being that it's for charity, things were quite lighthearted and not taken too seriously - sounded good to me, after working a ten hour shift on my feet I wasn't really in the mood or physical to state to go "balls to the wall" or some other ridiculous cliche saying.  Once our first game got under way I was truly shocked to see the level of competitiveness going on; pushing, shoving, tripping, and overall acting like a pissy 10 year old was abundant, especially (not to be "gender"ist) with the guys.  Not to mention the fact that I was getting yelled at every time I screwed something up or played in a way that someone else didn't want me to - I kept getting flashbacks of being 16 and playing super competitive soccer.  Apparently, this was the only game thus far that had been like this, and thank goodness for that!  I ended up getting head-butted by a guy (who insisted that it was me that head-butted him) who got me in the side of the head, right on the ear - pinching my glasses between my ear and my head...  my ear and my head still hurt and if I were to personify my glasses like our car then those poor little glasses would be hurting too.  Luckily, things turned around in the second game and it seemed like everyone was just enjoying playing and not caught up on the score or the level of play of other: mainly myself.  I actually think and felt that I was the worst player there by far; I have never had that feeling of being picked last for gym class when it came to athletics, but I think if you had lined everyone there up and picked teams, I would have been the last to go.  I don't know exactly what it was, but all the girls were really skilled, and pretty much every guy that I tried to face off against ended up burning me...  Part of it was probably that indoor soccer has never really been my game, despite having played soccer for a long time, indoor and outdoor are really two very different entities.  Personally, I think that my most prominent skills in soccer have always been my speed and my strength (which translates into long kicks and throw-ins) but in indoor soccer there are no throw-ins, there's not much space to run in, and kicking far can actually be a negative.  Indoor soccer is all about control and technique; things which, I actually recall my dad telling me straight up, was never really my game and I completely agree.  While I always kind of knew that those aspects weren't my strong suit, I have actually never felt this bad at soccer, ever.  Much like the ripping of my pants, it has kind of trigger something in me -  a desire to rediscover the skills that I used to have, as well as improve upon them.  I'm thinking about joining an indoor soccer team or organizing one of my own - not only do I think it will help me in quenching that particular desire, but I think it will be beneficiary to my exercise plan, rounding it out so it's not just me on a treadmill or elliptical all the time.  Well, I started this off half-complaining about how tired I am because I was up until 5 in the morning, and I have spent half an hour writing this...  While I internally mock myself about this, I am going to turn in because I really am totally exhausted!

Day 11 (elliptical):
15 minutes
42-45 rpm
4.2km
+
no sit-ups (there was an old guy using the equipment, and I ran out of time waiting for him to curl 8 gram weights)

Friday 4 November 2011

There are just some people you don't want to workout next to... are you one of them?

How to recognize a douche at the gym
I'm getting geared up for my super long day today!  I did my best to sleep in today (more than usual at least), I made it until 12:00 so hopefully I got enough sleep to get me through the long evening ahead.  Since I am doing the soccer marathon after work tonight, I opted for the elliptical again today rather than running.  Much to my chagrin there was someone else in the workout room when I went down today - there is a reason that I have never enjoyed going to public gyms, I simply hate the idea of working out around other people.  I prefer the quiet solitude that I normally experience during my workouts.  Best of all, the guy was using the bike right next to the elliptical.  I kept looking down to see what his time was at, wondering what his goal is, and that hopefully he would get to it soon and get out of there.  I ended up only getting about 15 minutes by myself; this guy pedaled forever, at a very slow speed... I was starting to question whether or not there is actually a purpose to sitting and pedaling that slowly.  I suppose I shouldn't complain that much, it could be much, much worse - I could be going to one of the gyms in downtown Calgary where douche bag guys go on their lunch breaks to pump some iron while wearing their most outrageous Ed Hardy t-shirts.  Those same guys are always the ones that pick up some weights the size of their heads and curl them while grunting like they are giving birth to twins.  All in all, it makes for a very undesirable environment in my opinion.  Alternatively, there are some women-only gyms in Calgary, Ive never actually been to one but I think it might be kind of depressing...  A lot of women in one room, most of whom do not feel good about themselves at all...  It's kind of counter-productive but they should probably put a Ben & Jerry's in there.  Ya, I certainly prefer working out in the under-used gym in my building where I always (except for today) get to pick what's on the television and blast it super loud so that I can hear everything that's said over the noise from the workout equipment.  Luckily,  the guy that was in there before me didn't have anything too terrible on the television, just some good old Dragon's Den - sure it was an episode that I had seen before but there are a lot worse things that he could have had on there: kid's cartoons or re-runs of Home Improvement (sure I watched it when I was younger, but Jonathan Taylor Thomas was like sooo hot).  Anyhow, I had better get on my way because my little sleep in pushed everything else back today so I have quite a bit to get done before I had to work. 

Day 10:
30 minutes
8.9 km = 5.53 miles
47-52rpm (pedal rotations per minute - I read the manual!)
+
50 sit-ups

Thursday 3 November 2011

Anything you can do, I can do better... or can I?

WHO DID THIS TO MY BARBIE?!
Another day of running down, and an infinite amount more to go!  Trying to work something into your day to day routine can be one of the most challenge things to do because there is no finish line, no goal to achieve.  I have always been an incredibly competitive person, I have always felt a need to out perform others in various aspects of my life - while I am certainly not always successful, I definitely always want to be.  I think that can be both a good attribute and a negative one.  I am constantly comparing myself to others, which can sometimes be depressing - especially when there are teenage millionaires running around singing songs with the worst lyrics of all times while sporting what was formally considered an edgy girls haircut.  And then there's those weird children that start putting others before themselves at an age where my biggest concern was which of my brothers smashed my favourite Barbie's head with a sledge hammer in the garage.  Seriously, kids are starting charities these days, what the hell is that?  The new generation is simultaneously evolving beyond current generations while degenerating by showing their idolization of hookers by dressing like them to go to school - it's a strange world!  On the other hand, being so competitive really helps me to push myself.  I've been trying to look at my running and exercise stats as something to compete against in order to help push myself further.  Essentially, I am motivating myself by competing against Jennifer from yesterday.  I was talking to my mum after my run today, and I guess this is just the way that I have always been.  She said how all four of her children are essentially the same people that they were when they were 3 years old.  For my part, she told me that I have always had the attitude of "anything they can do, I can do better" ('they' being my brothers).  I never really thought about it too much, but I really did aim to do better than my brothers - I wanted to play all the same sports and I wanted to do play them better.  I remember when one of my brother's started playing hockey; I wanted to play so badly.  I was denied based on the expensive cost of the equipment and excuse that I was always held on to.  However, I am sure the truth of the matter was that I was not that strong of a skater and when I played with my brothers on our backyard skating rink I always got trampled; I couldn't skate as well, I couldn't shoot, and I am pretty sure when they put me in the net there was something sadistic behind it... every shot I saved was one that was probably shot hard and directly at me.  I guess that's the benefit to having brothers, I always wanted to be as good as them at everything (if not better) and clearly it played a pretty significant role in making me into the person that I am today; as anyone I have ever played recreational sports with can surely testify to, I still want to be the best and I still want to be better than the boys.  

Running Day 9:
26 minutes and 26 seconds
2.5 miles
5.7 mph
+
50 sit-ups

Wednesday 2 November 2011

One Week Running Anniversary

So it's been a week since I ripped my pants and started my exercising, and I must say it feels like it's been months... haha, just kidding it's not that bad.  I must say I am pretty proud of sticking with it thus far, I do have a tendency to start things and then get distracted by something shiny and stop what I had initially set out to do - hence why our living room is currently filled with the contents of our storage room that I was hell bent on getting organized last night.  So I put up a poll a couple of days ago to see what my readers thought I should improve upon with my workouts - thanks to the incredible two votes that I got, there was a nail biting tie between sit-ups and distance.  So I opted to give those two people what they wanted and I set out today with the goal in mind of improving on both aspects.  Today I will throw up a new poll for my two week anniversary and with any luck (fingers-crossed) there will be a couple more responses given this time!  In other news, I decided to sign on for a 30 hour soccer marathon that a guy that I work with is organizing and participating in.  Originally, I thought it was next weekend and I wouldn't be able to do it because I am going to concert.  However, when I realised yesterday that it was this coming weekend I decided it would be a fun thing to do.  The only hard part will be that the only time I am able to get down there and play some soccer is after work between 3am and 5am.  So that should be a bit of a challenge, but I am sure it will be a lot of fun.  Unfortunately with the last minute realisation that I am able to participate, I haven't really left myself much time to raise any money.  Hopefully, I'll manage to get a bit of money put together.  Regardless, I am actually pretty excited about getting involved in this; while I donate money every year, I don't ever get out there and dedicate my time so I think I will really enjoy being a part of something and it doesn't hurt that I get to play soccer which I haven't gotten to do in over a year.  Not much else on the go, so here are my new and improved exercise stats as voted on by two of you - thanks.

Running Day 8:
26 minutes &26 seconds
2.51 miles
5.7 mph
+
50 sit-ups

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Getting from A to &?$

Bet you're wondering how the hell this factors in... ya you are.
So today I was a little slow getting into my routine thanks to the late night of counting booze and creeping myself out.  I finally got down to the gym around 1:00 to start my workout - I say workout because I decided to switch things up today.  After doing some extensive research (and by research I mean typing a question into Google) it occurred to me that the high impact of daily running might now be what's best for my body as I am trying to turn it back into the epitome of athleticism that it used to be - I wrote this because it sounded awesome, not because I am or ever was totally full of myself.  Some articles suggested that it may not be that good for someone just starting out to be running every single day.  Given how my muscles were feeling during my run last night, I thought it best to embrace this idea and so I opted for a machine that I literally did not know the name of until I read it off the instruction manual that was sitting next to it on the floor: elliptical.  Once I read it I felt pretty stupid as it turns out I knew what it was all along.  I wish I could really share with you the ways that I was thinking of describing the machine to you before I noticed the instruction - most of the descriptions related to the way that it felt to use the machine: I felt like I was running on clouds, I felt like I was in one of those robots from Halo, I felt like I was a puppet trapped on an evil running machine.  I'm not going to lie, being inside my brain might actually scare or at least greatly confuse a lot of people.  I am sure that we have all done it, but you know those moments when you're thinking of something and then it occurs to you that what you are thinking is completely ridiculous, and then you try to figure out how on earth you got to thinking about what it would have been like if your mom had been a circus performer and your dad was a train conductor and how that would have changed your entire life like a bad episode of Sliders....  Well, I have those moments a lot. My mind seems to like to run away from me a lot, or maybe not mean but certainly away from convention.  That's why I always wished that I had any form of talent in the realm of painting - I feel like I have some weird shit in my head that would translate better through a visual medium than through words.  Alas, I do not have any such talent and I am left to fumble around with words to try and communicate all my strange and unusual thoughts to others.  Getting back to the point of the matter, my stats on my workout will be a bit different today because the elliptical did not seem to have a reading for speed... there was something about rpm, but I have no idea how to relate to previous speed readings.  Also the distance in relation to time seems really wonky, maybe tomorrow I will read that manual...

Day 7:
23:30
7.0km = 4.34 miles
+
40 sit-ups

Halloween Running and How to Scare Yourself

For Halloween I was literally a scaredy cat!
Today's blog is coming at you awfully late (technically, it is actually tomorrow now) because I was working during the day today so my (new) regular routine got pushed back.  I had the distinct pleasure of working a section formerly served during the day by a long term and well-loved server - with the added pleasure of today being the first day shift following her last shift, there was no shortage of customers inquiring about her, telling me how things were with her, and basically shoving a list of expectations (including making a lot of their decisions for them) in my face.  I totally understand that these people have become accustomed to being served by the same person who seems to know them better than they know themselves, however, I would also like to think that they have some kind of understanding that it may not be desirable to someone who is just trying to cater to their needs to be constantly compared to another person - I am not your red headed mistake child living in the shadow of some perfect and favoured sibling.  No, I'm a server, just trying to do my job without psychic abilities that enable me to know what your "usual" is, or how you like your coffee.  Anyhow, enough about that!  I didn't get home until quarter after 5, so my run was pushed back until 6:00 but I managed to fit it in before dinner. I don't know if it was because I had worked a whole shift beforehand, but despite stretching my thighs felt incredibly stiff - something that never let up through the whole run.  Hopefully that's not the case tomorrow because it was quite tough to push on when it felt like my leg muscles were literally not working at all.  I capped off my day by returning to work to count inventory, an oddly calming activity, or at least it normally is - doing it on Halloween night while in a house probably built in the 1930s that people already tell ghost stories about....  Well considering I don't believe in all that ghost nonsense, it still managed to creep the hell out of me!  Every little noise had me looking around just to make sure I wasn't about to get possessed or attacked by savage trick-or-treaters gone wrong.  I was thoroughly excited when I finally finished, and frankly I could not have gotten out of there fast enough.  Haha, despite my best efforts to avoid all things Halloween, that good old creepy Halloween spirit managed to get into my head anyway.  I hope you all had an awesome and less creepy (unless you're into that kind of thing) Halloween.

Running Day 6:
21:20
2.02miles
5.7mph
+
40 sit-ups

Sunday 30 October 2011

No Rest for the Wicked

Maybe just eye-candy but still...
Despite the fact that it's Sunday, a day that people usually take for rest and relaxation, I opted to continue my running today; however, not before having a little Sunday fun myself.  Dan and I went to go see Rum Diary - the adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's novel by the same name, but unfortunately neither of us felt that the film really came close to the bar set by the novel.  Don't get me wrong, the film was entertaining but it seems that Rum Diary the novel was manipulated to create more of an homage to Thompson than to tell the story that Thompson had intended with the novel.  Regardless I would recommend seeing it for the footage of the ever-amazing Johnny Depp alone (he's definitely on my 'list'!)  It was a bit of a struggle to mentally motivate myself to do so, but I managed to get myself into the gym instead of just parking it on the couch.  I have kind of surprised myself with my ability to self-motivate in respect to my running/blogging project; I know that it has only been 5 days, but getting things started is often the part that I find the most difficult - I find that once I get going with something it actually becomes difficult to stop me.  That's an attribute that is probably largely responsible for me actually completing all my assignments through university, however most of those assignments were started and completed late into the night the day before they were due.  So to have gotten myself up and running (haha, sweet pun, no?) with this project is definitely a really good start for me - hopefully it will be just as difficult for me to stop this as it is for me to stop one of my slightly obsessive compulsive cleaning streaks... If you have ever worked with me, you know how excessive it can get!
Hope you are all enjoying your Sunday!

Running Day 5:
22 min 30 seconds
5.7mph
2.13 miles
+
35 sit-ups

Saturday 29 October 2011

Running Away from a Hangover

I bet right now you are wondering
what the hell this picture could
possibly have to do with anything...
Well, I have just completed my first Saturday morning running, however it kind of moved into the afternoon given my late night of working in addition to the seven beers I downed last night without blinking an eye.  I woke up a little late, and in sub-par condition, but I must exercise really does help kick that hangover to the curb.  Although, I would imagine there is a line drawn somewhere that once passed exercise only manages to make matters much, much worse...  I have an awesome mental image of running on a treadmill and then puking over the side of it (so awesome that I mean gross, and so gross that I felt the need to disgust others).  Fortunately today I had not crossed that line and exercise actually made me feel really awesome.  I have also been following my runs up with a dip in the hot tub, it's a great way to relax afterwards and I am sure it helps with the old achy muscles as well.  I am a bit ashamed of the fact that we have lived in this building for so long and made little use of the amenities available to us.  For example, our building has an outdoor pool, one that is rarely used because a lot of old people live in our building and (thankfully) they don't seem interested in taking a dip, yet I believe I went in the pool just once all summer.  It seems pretty silly considering once we get a house of our own and no longer have a pool readily available I just know there will be multiple instances in which I wish I had a pool to go take a swim.  Speaking of our building's pool, it does seem to attract a lot of people to go and just sit around and bake in the sun...  As an incredibly pale person, I really don't understand this.  You just sit there getting hot, lying either face down staring at pavement or face up with your eyes tightly squeezed shut because the blazing hot and bright sun is baking your body.  I mean, I understand that it feels nice, all that warmth and Vitamin D, but I get it as something you do on a beach, or after you've been in water and now you're a bit chilly...  But to just lie on a lawn chair baking in the sun in the middle of the dessert-like environment of Calgary on a pavement patio next to pool filled with water that you have not and have no intention of going into - well, that really just baffles the hell out of me.  Personally, I prefer to slap on some waterproof SPF 90 and get in the water or just stay indoors and let my paleness slowly turn to translucence.  Wow, I literally almost forgot how I got onto this topic, seriously, I was seconds away from scrolling back to the top to figure out how I got to talking about sunbathing while on the brink of winter...  Anyhow, the point is that I am feeling pretty good about finally making some good use of all the features available to me.  Also, there is a squash court, so if anyone is interested in having me kick their ass in a squash match let me know, I'm undefeated in the two matches Dan and I have ever played (Dan please imagine me looking really cute so that comment does not anger you).

I almost forgot!
Running Day 4:
22mins
2 miles
5.5 mph
+
35 sit-ups

Friday 28 October 2011

Running Through the Pain

(Seriously, how cool was Zack Morris...?)
I just got finished Day 3's run, and it was painful. My legs felt like jelly last night, and that feeling had only compounded over night. However, I am quite proud to say that I got up and continued on with my running routine regardless. There was a lot of self-motivation both in my head, and at times out loud... luckily, no one else seems to ever use the gym so only I was aware of how completely insane I sounded. I must say though, that running on that treadmill while watching House Hunters International and coercing myself to keep going oddly reminded me of when I used to do cross country and track - oddly because when I did those things there was no t.v. to watch and if there was I would have been watching Saved by the Bell rather than Home and Garden Television. But I remembered the little mind games that I used to play with myself when I would be competing; sometimes I would lie to myself, I would fully convince myself that the lap I was on was the last lap, and then when I was almost across the finish line I would somehow surprise myself with the fact that there was still another lap to go. Or when I used to do cross country running, I swear I would make up in my head that there was a girl right on my heels so I had better kick into the next gear or I was going to get passed - then I would kick it into that gear, cross the finish line and turn around to see that no one was close to me at all. That's what I was doing to myself today, playing little mind games to keep myself from hopping off the treadmill prematurely. The television was actually a big help, it distracted me from staring at the clock on the treadmill watching every second click by. This was the first day I had the t.v. (I couldn't figure out how to use it the first two days... don't I live with a guy in the audio/visual industry??), now if only it had a dvd player hooked up to it and I could watch really entrancing movies so that I could run for hours and have no idea that I had - or I could get so distracted I forget that I am running and fall off the back of the treadmill; honestly, that`s much more likely to happen. Anyhow, the point I was making somewhere along the line was that I was playing those head games with myself, at first I told myself I would only run for ten minutes today because I have a sweet 8 hours shift on my feet ahead of me... and then I decided, well I`ll just go until this couple finishes over-critically viewing this gorgeous home that most people would give their right arm to live in. By that time, I figured I may as well go the commercial break and then I could do my sit-ups doing the commercial. Well, I ended up doing my sit-ups while they viewed the next house (which again they appreciate about as much as dog poop on their front step), so it seems I am simultaneously very smart and very stupid and gullible.

Running Day 3:
20 min
5.5 mph
1.83 miles
+30 sit-ups